Amalfi has one beach. For all the visitors which flock to it’s salty shores (don’t drink the salt water, it’s disgusting), one beach! That’s what I call poor town planning. Although it’s only one beach, it can feel like more due to the colour coded umbrellas. What many don’t know before taking a trip out there is that the umbrellas represent your class, income, your place in society.
Orange/Yellow = Poverty
Green/Yellow = Not Quite as Poor
Blue = Middle Class
White = Upper Middle Class
Red/White = Very Rich
Blue by the Wall = Forget it, these umbrellas are privately owned.
In the poor people section, the sand was mostly gravel, there was a lot of floating hair and once in a while you’d get bitten by a piranha.
In the less poor section, they had pigeons (which we didn’t get in the poor section as there was no food). Yes, the less poor had biscotti, but it was stale biscotti rejects from the higher classes.
Even the middle classes are protected from us poor being able to see them! Even with my telephoto lens (photographer talk for “far away make look close up”) I could just make out some brightly coloured swim suits, some mediocre botox, fake tans and a bit less cellulite.
Try as I might, I couldn’t get anywhere near the rich. You can kind of see them in the following picture, having a ball, playing in the water, eating their caviar right out of the sea. I heard the sand on that side is so fine it looks like glass. I heard they eat oysters fresh from the water (that someone else gets for them) and that each oyster has a perfect pearl. I heard their breast and butt implants are like floatation devices so they don’t need life jackets.
But don’t they know that all the piss mixes together? Don’t they realize that? Every class is emptying their bladders in that savoury puddle and it’s going in everyone’s mouth. We are all the same, with each other’s pee dribbling from our mouths and coating our tongues. The only difference? We wash it down with differently priced wines.
As I said, there’s only one beach.